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"One more thing I'd like to know about. When we went to church together, Carter had never met Jerry's father. We came late and Jerry's dad was sitting with a group of people in the middle of the congregation. Carter let go of my hand and ran right to that man. He climbed on his lap, hugged him and said Daddy’. We were flabbergasted. How could he have known him? Why did he call him dad? He never did things like that. He would never let go of my hand in church and never run to a stranger. When I asked him why he did it, he said he didn't. He said Jerry did and he went with him." "One more thing I'd like to know about. When we went to "Our son was walking to violin class when he was hit. Nobody church together, Carter had never met Jerry's father. We came knows where the bullet came from, but it just hit him and he fell. late and Jerry's dad was sitting with a group of people in the He died right there on the street, hugging his violin case. He middle of the congregation. Carter let go of my hand and ran loved music and his teachers said he had a real thing for it. He right to that man. He climbed on his lap, hugged him and said would listen to music and play along with it. I think he would Daddy’. We were flabbergasted. How could he have known have been at Carnegie Hall some day, but the other kids always him? Why did he call him dad? He never did things like that. He made fun of the music he liked." would never let go of my hand in church and never run to a The recipient reported: stranger. When I asked him why he did it, he said he didn't. He "I'm real sad and all for the guy who died and gave me his said Jerry did and he went with him." heart, but I really have trouble with the fact that he was black. I'm not a racist, mind you, not at all. Most of [my] friends at the plant Case 3 are black guys. But the idea that there is a black heart in a white The donor was a 24-year-old woman who was the victim of an body seems really...well, I don't know. I told my wife that I automobile accident. The recipient was a 25-year-old male thought my penis might grow to a black man's size. They say graduate student suffering from cystic fibrosis who received a black men have larger penises, but I don't know for sure. After heart-lung transplant. we have sex, I sometimes feel guilty because a black man made The donor's sister reported: love to my wife, but I don't really think that seriously. "My sister was a very sensual person. Her one love was paint- "I can tell you one thing, though. I used to hate classical music, ing. She was on her way to her first solo showing at a tiny art — but now I love it. So I know it's not my new heart, because a shop when a drunk ploughed into her. It's a lesbian art store that black guy from the ‘hood wouldn't be into that. Now it calms my supports gay artists. My sister was not really very ‘out’ about it, heart. I play it all the time. I more than like it. I didn't tell any of but she was gay. She said her land- the guys on the line that I have a black scape paintings were really representa- heart, but I think about it a lot." tions of the mother or woman figure. The recipient's wife reported: She would look at a naked woman "He was more than concerned about model and paint a landscape from that! "de wants to hug all the time the idea when he heard it was a black Can you imagine? She was gifted." and go shopping. My God, he man's heart. He actually asked me if The recipient reported: he could ask the doctor for a white "I never told anyone at first, but I never wanted to shop! heart when one came up. He's no thought having a woman's heart would Archie Bunker, but he's close to it. make me gay. Since my surgery, I've And you know what, And he would kill me if he knew I told been hornier than ever and women just he carries a purse now. you this, but for the first time he's seem to look even more erotic and . " invited his black friends over from sensual, so I thought I might have His purse: work. It's like he doesn't see their gotten internal transsexual surgery. colour any more, even though he still My doctor told me it was just my new talks about it sometimes. He seems energy and lease on life that made me more comfortable and at ease with feel that way, but I'm different. I know these black guys, but he's not aware of I'm different. I make love like I know exactly how the woman's it. body feels and responds—almost as if it is my body. I have the "And one more thing I should say. He's driving me nuts with same body, but I still think I've got a woman's way of thinking the classical music. He doesn't know the name of one song and about sex now." never, never listened to it before. Now, he sits for hours and lis- The recipient's girlfriend said: tens to it. He even whistles classical music songs that he could "He's a much better lover now. Of course, he was weaker never know. How does he know them? You'd think he'd like rap before, but it's not that. He's like, I mean, he just knows my body music or something because of his black heart." as well as I do. He wants to cuddle, hold and take a lot of time. Before he was a good lover, but not like this. It's just different. Case 5 He wants to hug all the time and go shopping. My God, he never The donor was a 19-year-old woman killed in an automobile wanted to shop! And you know what, he carries a purse now. His accident. The recipient was a 29-year-old woman diagnosed with purse! He slings it over his shoulder and calls it his bag, but it's a cardiomyopathy secondary to endocarditis. purse. He hates it when I say that, but going to the mall with him The donor's mother reported: is like going with one of the girls. And one more thing, he loves "My Sara was the most loving girl. She owned and operated to go to museums. He would never, absolutely never, do that. her own health food restaurant and scolded me constantly about Now he would go every week. Sometimes he stands for minutes not being a vegetarian. She was a great kid. Wild, but great. She and looks at a painting without talking. He loves landscapes and was into the free-love thing and had a different man in her life just stares. Sometimes I just leave him there and come back every few months. She was man crazy when she was a little girl later." and it never stopped. She was able to write some notes to me "He wants to hug all the time and go shopping. My God, he never wanted to shop! And you know what, he carries a purse now. His purse!" Case 5 The donor was a 19-year-old woman killed in an automobile accident. The recipient was a 29-year-old woman diagnosed with cardiomyopathy secondary to endocarditis. The donor's mother reported: "My Sara was the most loving girl. She owned and operated her own health food restaurant and scolded me constantly about not being a vegetarian. She was a great kid. Wild, but great. She was into the free-love thing and had a different man in her life every few months. She was man crazy when she was a little girl and it never stopped. She was able to write some notes to me when she was dying. She was so out of it, but she kept saying how she could feel the impact of the car hitting them. She said she could feel it going through her body." The recipient reported: "You can tell people about this if you want to, but it will make you sound crazy. When I got my new heart, two things happened Case 4 The donor was a 17-year-old black male student victim of a drive-by shooting. The recipient was a 47-year-old white male foundry worker diagnosed with aortic stenosis. The donor's mother reported: APRIL — MAY 2005 NEXUS + 29 www.nexusmagazine.com