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THE ARRIVAL OF HUMANS well outside the classic Darwinian paradigm. Darwin himself Like all plants and animals whether wild or domesticated, made the observation that humans were surprisingly like domesti- humans are supposed to be the products of slight, gradual cated animals. In fact, we are so unusual relative to other pri- improvements to countless generations spawned by vastly more —_ mates that it can be solidly argued that we do not belong on Earth primitive forebears. This was firmly believed by most scientists at all...that we are not even from Earth, because we do not seem in the 1980s, when a group of geneticists decided to try to estab- to have developed here. lish a more accurate date for when humans and chimpanzees split We are taught that, by every scientific measure, humans are pri- from their presumed common ancestor. mates very closely related to all other primates, especially chim- Palaeontologists used fossilised bones to establish a timeline _ panzees and gorillas. This is so ingrained in our psyches that it that indicated the split came between five and eight million years seems futile even to examine it, much less to challenge it. But we ago. That wide bracket could be narrowed, geneticists believed, will. by charting mutations in human mitochondrial DNA—small bits Bones. Human bones are much lighter than comparable pri- of DNA floating outside the nuclei of our cells. So they went to mate bones. For that matter, our bones are much lighter than the work collecting samples from all over the world. bones of every "pre-human" ancestor through to Neanderthal. When the results were in, none of the geneticists could believe The ancestor bones look like primate bones; modern human bones it. They had to run their samples through again and again to be —do not. certain. Even then, there was hesitancy about announcing it. Muscle. Human muscles are significantly weaker than Everyone knew there would be a firestorm of controversy, starting comparable muscles in primates. Pound for pound, we are five to with the palaeontologists—who would be ten times weaker than any other primate. given the intellectual equivalent of a black Any pet monkey is evidence of that. eye and a bloody nose and their heads dunked Somehow, getting "better" made us much, into a toilet for good measure! This would We are taught that, much weaker. publicly embarrass them in a way that had not ° ce Skin. Human skin is not well adapted to happened since the Piltdown hoax was by every scientific the amount of sunlight striking Earth. It can exposed. ; measure, humans are be modified to survive extended exposure Despite the usual scientific practice of ° t | I by greatly increasing melanin (its dark pig- keeping a lid on data that radically differs prima es very close Yy ment) at its surface, which only the black from a current paradigm, the importance of related to all other race has achieved. All others must cover this new evidence finally outweighed concern . . themselves with clothing or frequent shade for the image and feelings of palaeontolo- primates, especially or both, or sicken from radiation poisoning. gists. The geneticists gathered their courage chimpanzees and Body Hair. Primates need not worry and stepped into the line of fire, announcing that humans were not anywhere near the official age range of eight to five million distinctive pattern of long body-hair. years old. Humans were only about oo. . . Because they are quadrupeds (move 200,000 years old. As expected, the This Is SO ingrained on all fours), the thickest hair is on howls of protest were deafening. in our psyches that it their back, the thinnest on the chest about direct exposure to sunlight because they are covered from head to toe in a gorillas. Time and much more testing of . and abdomen. Humans have lost the mitochondrial DNA and male Y- seems futile even to all-over pelt, and we have completely chromosomes now make it beyond examine it, much less switched our area of thickness to the doubt that the geneticists were correct. . chest and abdomen while wearing the And the palaeontologists have come to to challenge It. thin part on our back. Fat. Humans have ten times as many fat cells attached to the under- side of their skin as primates. If a pri- accept it because geneticists were able to squeeze humans through the same kind of "bottleneck effect" they used to try to ameliorate the mystery of mate is wounded by a gash or tear in cheetahs. the skin, when the bleeding stops the By doing so, they left palaeontologists still able to insist that | wound's edges lie flat near each other and can quickly close the humans evolved from primitive forebears walking upright on the — wound by a process called "contracture". In humans, the fat layer savannas of Africa as long ago as five million years, but that is so thick that it pushes up through wounds and makes contrac- between 100,000 and 200,000 years ago "something" happened to _ture difficult if not impossible. Also, contrary to the propaganda destroy nearly all humans alive at the time, forcing them to __ to try to explain this oddity, the fat under human skin does not reproduce from a small population of survivors. compensate for the body hair we have lost. Only in water is its That this "something" remains wholly unknown is a given, insulating capacity useful; in air, it is minimal at best. although Creationists wildly wave their hands like know-it-alls at Head Hair. All primates have head hair that grows to a certain the back of a classroom, desperate to suggest it was the Great —_ length and then stops. Human head hair grows to such lengths Flood. But because they refuse to move away from the biblical that it could be dangerous in a primitive situation. Thus, we have timeline of the event (in the range of 6,000 years ago), nobody been forced to cut our head hair since we became a species, which can take them seriously. Still, it seems the two sides might work — may account for some of the sharp flakes of stones that are con- together productively on this crucial issue. If only... sidered primitive hominid "tools". Apart from disputes about the date and circumstances of our Fingernails and Toenails. All primates have fingernails and origin as a species, there are plenty of other problems with _ toenails that grow to a certain length and then stop, never needing humans. Like domesticated plants and animals, humans stand paring. Human fingernails and toenails have always needed We are taught that, by every scientific measure, humans are primates very closely related to all other primates, especially chimpanzees and gorillas. This is so ingrained in our psyches that it seems futile even to examine it, much less to challenge it. 58 ¢ NEXUS JUNE - JULY 2002 THE ARRIVAL OF HUMANS www.nexusmagazine.com