Nexus - 0705 - New Times Magazine-pages

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friend and for me. In this same trip, he had "materialised" (one of _is not erect and tells me that that is how it is supposed to be! my friends was "tested" and saw him bring the object from the "Swami is inside there, see; Swami is inside there." neighbouring room) a jar of amrita, "divine nectar", with a spoon Hell no! That is mine and mine! And you are certainly not in which he used to give us all a spoonful, after which he said: there, I thought. "From now on, no more bad karma and no more bad luck in your He asks me to do padnamnamaskaar again, and again he pulls life. You are very special people; this is a privilege! There are so up his dress. "This is your second good luck chance," he says. many people out there and you are the lucky ones!" When I asked I refuse and get up without saying anything. him why, he said that all our hearts were pure and that there was lam now angry, confused and dazed. I feel burning! God just not self-interest involved in the work we did (we had many took a back door! A very clever manipulator and professional power-struggles and quarrels over positions in the group, just like deceiver had just trashed the fundamentals of the past eight years any other group of humans may have). of my life. I had abstained from any sexual activity because he My friend had now left. I was by myself and was called in a had suggested it was good for my spiritual evolution. He had few days after he had left. I went into the interview room and was harassed and embarrassed my girlfriend and myself because of given a private audience in a separate room. When in this sepa- our difference in age, while he was hitting on someone 42 years rate room, he asked me how things were in Australia. He told me his junior. He had told us to break up our relationship, and for that he would give me everything: money, a house, a wife— what reason? So he could have a go? everything! In reality, I pulled the carpet myself from under a mental castle He then signs me to come closer and hug him. He then hugs which I had built myself. I am responsible for that. He is respon- me (I am on my knees and he is seated on his chair; there are no sible for abusing the good faith of people, their trust, to the point people present). He now turns his face and puts his lips on mine; of putting their life on the line and actually losing it. my head is spinning and my mind is He asks me to keep this quiet, not to running at 500 kilometres per hour. I say anything to anyone. don't know what to do! My mouth I walked out of the interview room tightens up, and I feel extremely and ran to my room. I locked myself uncomfortable and confused with this . in. I blacked out until 6 am the next perceived incarnation of God on "A very clever manipulator morning (rom Spm tne ny before). arth trying to kiss me on and in my d fessi Id . ‘ew weeks passed. There was a mouth! Sai Baba slaps me on my an pro essional aeceiver big power shake-up in the kitchen cheek and says: “Loosen up With had just trashed the and {had no interest to Participate in other people, not okay; with Sai e whole situation any longer. I ha Baba, okay." I am even more uncom- fundamentals of the past a chat with the leader of the group torable now and feel disgusted at the eight years of my life." because I had not been going to dar- same time. shan any more. Sai Baba realises his and my My last day in the ashram, I talked predicament and decides not to to the leader of the group. She insist- continue. He now tells me again that ed that I tell her what happened. "So he will give me everything, and did he try to have sex with you?" was stands up and tells me to do the question. Tired of it all, I told her padnamnamaskaar. As 1 go on my knees and touch his feet with what had happened. This was the evening of 4 or 5 January 1997. my forehead, he pulls up my arms and indicates he wants his calf | Immediately afterwards she had an interview with Sai Baba, by muscles massaged. herself this time. Although very uncomfortable with everything that had hap- After she came out of the interview room several hours later, I pened, I still continued to listen to him. Many people knew how was summoned to meet with an elderly gentleman from Security, he liked having his calf muscles massaged and I had seen whom I knew well, with whom I had built a friendship. This respectable men and women of all walks of life do the same gentleman looked very awkward and asked me if he could take thing... my photo. I said "Of course"—not knowing what was happening, He now takes my head and pushes it quite firmly into his but understanding something had gone wrong. He was accompa- groin... He then pulls up my arms and asks me to go higher and _ nied by two seva dals. One of them took a picture from the front higher and higher... Now I am holding his buttocks and wonder _and then asked me to turn to the side. When I asked my friend what the hell my Divine Master is asking me to do! I let go my what was happening, he nodded uncomfortably and said "I don't arms and now I am even more shell-shocked... know". He pulls up his dress, presents me his half-erect penis and They then escorted me to the secretary of the ashram who told invites me to take up my "good luck chance": "This is your good me I was ordered to leave as soon as possible. I had behaved luck chance." improperly and had to leave. When I asked what the reason was, I am now on my knees facing his erect penis, being asked to he commanded that I was not allowed to ask anything, and that I perform oral sex. He stands there, and I think: Am I supposed to was only allowed to leave. "You are to leave the ashram. You do this? Could I do this? are strongly advised not to hang around the village, but to go as I then instinctively stretch out my right arm and put it on the soon as possible to Bangalore and catch the first flight out." part of his chest which hides his heart, and say: "I don't want this, Tleft... Swami; I want your heart." Hans de Kraker He now drops his dress and tells me: "Yes, yes, yes; of course Australia, 19 May 2000 you have my heart." He now asks me to take my pants down, "discovers" my penis (Source: Letter to Faye and David Bailey, The Quarterly, UK) "A very clever manipulator and professional deceiver had just trashed the [gaan se ea Ls es en fundamentals of the past eight years of my life." Hans de Kraker Australia, 19 May 2000 64 * NEXUS (Source: Letter to Faye and David Bailey, The Quarterly, UK) AUGUST - SEPTEMBER 2000