Nexus - 0501 - New Times Magazine-pages

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FADING DREAMS During the presentations I was to strike a friendship with an I asked when this discovery could be put to use in terminally-ill oncologist who would later do his best to destroy me. It would be humans. "Not for a long, long time," I was told condescendingly. a recurring theme of my life. My greatest enemies would always None of my colleagues or superiors in the laboratory seemed to start as respected friends. share my excitement; worse yet, they seemed to resent my suc- When I suggested to my father's oncologist that anabolic hor- cess—and me, too, for that matter. Perhaps their egos were mones be added to strengthen his bones and diminish his pain, he bruised. I was often reminded that I had no formal training or became annoyed. I had stepped on his toes by daring to suggest a education in the field, whereas they had years of it. My work at therapy. Had I hurt his ego? Was there a better way to ask him? the Clinical Sciences Building (Royal Melbourne Hospital) and Who cares? I just wanted the best for my father. He refused to the Ludwig Institute became more and more isolated. recommend it and my father refused to try anything his specialist Other affiliates and collaborators who had donated animals and _ did not recommend. lab space to me included the Department of Biochemistry at In one presentation I managed to offend my father's doctor and Melbourne University. Dr Schreiber, the department head, called —_be ignored by virtually all others. I had presented a technology me in to advise me personally that in the few days I had been for curing cancer, and no one cared. there I had created friction as I was not qualified, paid or a mem- ber of their 'group' and that structurally they could not support | EGOS AND LIES IN THE HEALING ARTS another worker. I had not fought with anybody, or argued or One of modern medicine's greatest achievements is the claim insulted anyone. I was unpaid and, above all, my work was yield- that no one needs to suffer, for there is supposedly no pain that ing incredible results. How could they terminate investigation on —_ cannot be eliminated by modern pharmaceuticals. That is perhaps such a promising avenue? These extracts were killing cancer true even in severe terminal pain, if one does not mind existing more effectively and more safely than anything else in history! instead of living; existing with clouded perceptions, blunted emo- "It doesn't matter," Dr Schreiber replied. tions, a drug-induced stupor; a waking coma where you struggle Dr Jose reminded me that publication was the only way for a to comprehend the world racing around you, where you try to scientist to achieve recognition, and offered me a poster presenta- communicate but mouth gibberish, where you dig deep, searching tion at the Clinical Oncology Society for the spark, the joy, the will to con- of Australia (COSA) annual meeting tinue but find not even a memory of in 1981. Hopes rekindled; I prepared it. for the big time. Perhaps amongst | was unpaid and, above all, my This desperation, this depression, doctors, the idea of an effective ther- this torment, this torture is often the apy would be better received than in work was yielding incredible results. price paid for physical comfort. "We the sterile field of research. can prevent suffering in terminal dis- A fe ths later I was standi WF ase" is a stat t oft ade by < Ae ens as = onde | These extracts were killing cancer samt tt ma ever presenter of an original project more effectively and more safely perpetuating and reaffirming his illu- at the prestigious COSA meeting. than anything else in history! sions of godhood without any regard Few people stopped by my exhibit and most did so only to advise me to eave research and concentrate on my medical studies. I was simply for reality. Cancer is nothing if not relentless. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy had failed to arrest the progress of my too young and naive, they said. "What about the work?" I asked. father's disease. As the multiple myeloma spread its physical "Interesting," they replied, and moved on. domination, shattered my father's skeleton and destroyed his Most people spent their time around a diagnostic antibody immune function, fractures, recurrent infections and pain, con- exhibit. The attractive researcher's mini-skirt and plunging neck- stant pain, became features of his life. As he lay bedridden with line were also on exhibit. Hell, even / found myself distracted by bone compression, multiple rib breaks and a disintegrating pelvis, her monoclonals! my father refused painkillers except at night so that he could Thad come with aspirations of recognition, of encountering sleep. He would not permit any loss of mental clarity during his someone who would carry the investigation where I could not: in waking hours: time was short and he wanted to live it, experience the human field. If I had harboured any illusions of discovery, it fully. With his body deteriorating, his mind remained the only fame or acceptance, they were quickly shattered. Scientists and undesecrated sanctuary, haven, drive to continue. He would not doctors alike had greeted me and my discoveries with the same allow this most cherished possession to be tainted; he would not warmth one reserves for an acute attack of haemorrhoids or out- allow his loved ones to see him as anything less than the best he break of herpes. could be. While I found the displays worthwhile, the conferences them- I was beginning to have major problems at medical school. I selves were electrifying. I learned of new techniques being used _ could not see the relevance of many topics, nor fathom the time- and the latest trials of hormonal agents, immunostimulants and wasting techniques in teaching other subjects. We learned, for chemotherapy. Immunotherapy remained an exciting field, example, how to launch a projectile into orbit around Jupiter (use- whereas the latest chemotherapy evaluations were delivered in ful knowledge if your practice caters for outer-space aliens and gritty, realistic and defeatist manner. Hormones were finding you wish to post them a prescription; of course that would neces- increasing application in general disease management. Bone sitate a pharmacy on Uranus, which could prove uncomfortable). damage and pain in cancer such as multiple myeloma were shown _ Plutonium purification in the manufacture of nuclear warheads to be preventable and treatable with anabolic hormones. Just that was another priceless inclusion in our study of the healing arts. tidbit of information was worthwhile. It represented a concrete, Important topics were noted by their absence. Preventive medi- usable way to help my father. cine was never discussed. In the late 1970s and early 1980s, During the presentations I was to strike a friendship with an oncologist who would later do his best to destroy me. It would be a recurring theme of my life. My greatest enemies would always start as respected friends. When I suggested to my father's oncologist that anabolic hor- mones be added to strengthen his bones and diminish his pain, he became annoyed. I had stepped on his toes by daring to suggest a therapy. Had I hurt his ego? Was there a better way to ask him? Who cares? I just wanted the best for my father. He refused to recommend it and my father refused to try anything his specialist did not recommend. In one presentation I managed to offend my father's doctor and be ignored by virtually all others. I had presented a technology for curing cancer, and no one cared. These extracts were killing cancer more effectively and more safely than anything else in history! NEXUS - 33 DECEMBER 1997 - JANUARY 1998