Nexus - 0109 - New Times Magazine-pages

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Another Ark Sighting *% Two Americans claimed to have discovered Noah's ~ . 3 @ : 7 ly MAN... Ark on Mount Ararat in Easter Turkey while flying over it by . : helicopter last September. / Pilot Chuck Aaron said a square boat shape was spotted 4,400 a ji P @) ti @) a P 3) | i t [ io $ metres up the mountain in an area usually covered by a glacier which . . — z retreated Jast summer because of high temperatures in the region. Former Liberian Defence Minister Gray Allison has "We are 100% sure this is the ark,” said Mr Aaron He saidhe and been charged with slaughtering a policeman to ob- jis partner, pharmacist Bob Garbe, discovered and photographed the object on September 15th after making five flights in the last three years over the 5,400 metre mountain. He said the glacier melts enough to expose the ark every 20 or 30 years. Geologists say that even though there is evidence of a great flood tain blood for a magic potion. Allison was stripped of his post last June and subsequently charged with murdering Mr Melvin Pyne, whose body was found beheaded and drained of blood on a railroad track near Monrovia, capital of the West African republic, last March. - Pi ip et tas i i “If for any reason I have offended anyone during the performance Mesopotamia dt Stenecsin ee i eel pmeiiie fore Rirly be beni of my duties in thenine year period Ihave served my country, please made landfall at that altitude. The pair plan aclimb next June that will forgive me,” said a contrite Allison during a televised appearance. inclodte gpa ioglats tant urdiaeblop ian. The prosecution claimed Allison had asked a witchdoctor called Sekou Satchko to prepare the potion to overthrow President Samuel Doe. Allison claimed his accusers, including Satchko, were lying. ( f y { g , “T want [my friends] to continue to pray for me because this is not Hallucin ati n Sh eep an easy situation we are in,” he said. Rewer Motorists in the Shetland Islands in Britain have had to be on guard against a new road hazard - local sheep who have developed an appetite for magic mushrooms. C (@) mM p u tT e l S$ St (@} ‘a e ad The tripping sexy often escape from paddocks and wander onto the road. A computer virus called “marijuana” infiltrated and "They fall all over the place, never seem to hurt themselves and take no notice of the traffic at all," said one local human. destroyed data in sensitive security areas of the Austra- lian Defence Department last Angust. Each time defence officials attempted to use their computer terminals a message flashed, “Your machine has been stoned - Legalise marijuana.” The virus had already gobbled up data from the terminals’ inbuilt hard disks and disabled them. IBM experts helped to ferret out the virus. It is believed to have originated in a New Zealand university. A Melbourne man was charged with computer trespass and attempted criminal damage in July when he loaded ‘marijuana’ into acomputer at the Swinburne Institute of Technology. Signs Off India’s C 1 Road R h Institut tl ' , reported that 99% of Indian ruck driversean'treaad | TNE Rich Need You or identify traffic signs and that most don’t know basic highway laws. . ; . . Over 40,000 people die on Indian roads annually. Most accidents The Ladies In Line Against Communism (LILAC) involve tucks aimed by Indian drivers who are not required to pass held their first rally in Perth last November to demonstrate a written test for a licence. on behalf of the “needy wealthy”. In their Walk for Wealth, the 20 4a by * 4D Pp INS Perth (self-described) ladies walked from the Perth Stock Exchange to to 5S-storey tower which houses the HQ of the Bond empire. Once there, Mrs Elizabeth Lean of LILAC handed Mr Bond's rep a cheque for $15,95 ($7.20 from a four-hour famine and $8.75 from a lamington stall) and a painting to replace Manet’s La Promenade, which Mr Bond recently sold. “Tt will fill the awful space that happens when you take down a painting,” said Mrs Lean. It was painted by “one of the ladies of the group who is a little bit artistic.” WEI SONG CHINESE VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT 42 AND TAKE-AWAY © APPROVED BY SYDNEY BETH DIN WE SERVE VEGAN MEALS NO MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE NO MEATS OR SEAFOODS NO SMOKING - _— . 3 “There are 32,000 millionaires in Australia who need our sup- 96 BRONTE RD., BONDI JUNCTION, N.S.W. 2022 port,” she said. Tel: 389-3108 No, really. She’s serious. OPEN 5.00P.M. - 10.30P.M. CLOSED SUNDAY Another Ark Sighting Politics Potion Former Liberian Defence Minister Gray Allison has been charged with slaughtering a policeman to ob- tain blood for amagic potion. Allison was stripped of his post last June and subsequently charged with murdering Mr Melvin Pyne, whose body was found beheaded and drained of blood on a railroad track near Monrovia, capital of the West African republic, last March. “If for any reason I have offended anyone during the performance of my duties in the nine year period I have served my country, please forgive me,” said a contrite Allison during a televised appearance. The prosecution claimed Allison had asked a witchdoctor called Sekou Satchko to prepare the potion to overthrow President Samuel Doe. Allison claimed his accusers, including Satchko, were lying. “J want [my friends] to continue to pray for me because this is not an easy situation we are in,” he said. Moan Hallucinating Sheep Reuter Computers Stoned A computer virus called “marijuana” infiltrated and destroyed data in sensitive security areas of the Austra- lian Defence Department last Angust. Each time defence officials attempted to use their computer terminals a message flashed, “Your machine has been stoned - Legalise marijuana.” The virus had already gobbled up data from the terminals’ inbuilt hard disks and disabled them. IBM experts helped to ferret out the virus. It is believed to have originated in a New Zealand university. A Melbourne man was charged with computer trespass and attempted criminal damage in July when he loaded ‘marijuana’ into acomputer at the Swinburne Institute of Technology. Signs Off India’s Central Road Research Institute recently reported that 99% of Indian truck drivers can’t read or identify traffic signs and that most don’t know basic highway laws. Over 40,000 people die on Indian roads annually. Most accidents involve tucks aimed by Indian drivers who are not required to pass a written test for a licence, The Need You EKER PS WEI SONG CHINESE VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT 4%) AND TAKE-AWAY © APPROVED BY SYDNEY BETH DIN WE SERVE VEGAN MEALS NO MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE NO MEATS OR SEAFOODS NO SMOKING AND TAKE-AWAY WE SERVE VEGAN MEALS NO MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE NO MEATS OR SEAFOODS NO SMOKING a Two Americans claimed to have discovered Noah's Motorists in the Shetland Islands in Britain have had © APPROVED BY SYDNEY BETH DIN 96 BRONTE RD., BONDI JUNCTION, N.S.W. 2022 Tel: 389-3108 OPEN 5.00P.M. - 10.30P.M. CLOSED SUNDAY —