Nexus - 0109 - New Times Magazine-pages

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1- Know what you want and what your lover wants. Know what this means is sensory experience; not just that you want to feel loved, but what you willsee, hear and feel your partner doing that makes you feel Joved. 2 - Have the commitment and flexibility to DO what your partner wants and the commitment and flexibility to do what makes your partner WANT to do what you want. 3 - Have the sensory awareness to know whether this is actually happening or not. Pay attention to your sensory world, not just your ideas about what is happening, or should be happening... 4 - Have commitment to learn, if necessary, how to take yourself and your partner back to attraction, appreciation and habitu- ation should it be needed, Knowing these stages can help make us aware of just what we are doing with our relationships and whether we are still cycling through that fulfilling pattern of habituation, attraction and appreciation and back again. If we have passed that but have not yet reached Threshold, we need to recognise the worth of what It is we have, perhaps comparing the present state with what It was like before we met the other. If Threshold has been passed, then it may be time to seek outside help or even to proceed to Terml- nation. A life of conjugal misery is surely the least rewarding option. Using NLP or any other effectlve intervention is preferable to resigning yourself to a static, negative relationship. As human beings we have arlght to a rich, rewarding life, one which invites and enables us to know directly, through our senses and our spirit, the fulfilment possible to human beings. NEXUS New Times Nime- 1989 by JON LONERGAN us Rha —D__atat TY snes 200 4FO A orn