Nexus - 0108 - New Times Magazine-pages

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The Twilite Zone exists In the fax machine of the wire-services of the world. Step through the door of your Imagination... Curiosity One That True Tails ee a pes Kills Again Got Away jcsvas'S0n How would you remove a cock- baby born with a perfectly func- roach from your car? Jonathan Tokyo police announced inJanu- An itchy eye helped Major Rich- tioning tail. Warren and Leo Rotello of the ary that they believed graduate ard Bingley recover a lost war Surgeon Eftis Paraskevaides- University of New York Health student Tetsuo Sugahara, 24,had souvenir. Major Bingley wasshot who removed the 5 cm-long tail Scjenee Centre have the answer. died accidentally. in the thigh during the Korean under general anaesthetic the day Through trial and error they He was found dead near his War in 1952. Four bullets struck —thechild wasborafterconsulting advise against using the recom- home with his nose and mouth _ him butonly three had exitholes. the parents-said“It was atruetail mended solution -spraying lido- taped shut, so police naturally “Inever had any rouble until thatmoved intermittently and was cane, an anuesthetic, into the ear. decided he had been a victim of | acoupleofmonthsagowhenI got covered with fine, downy hair, “With hurried anticipation we his own curiosity about how the _a very bad irritation behind my _ just like an animal’s. sprayed the drug briskly into the human body can function without eye,” said the 68-year old retired “] have seen nothing like it ear canal and quickly jumped oxygen. soldier in a London hospital last and there is nothing in medical pack, fully expecting the beast to December. records to compare with it. I come hurtling forth at firstcontact “The bullet must have some- —_ would say it was unique.” with the noxious substance.” how worked its way around my British Medical Journal But the roach refused to do an bloodstream until it lodged be- . Alien and stayed put. So the doc- poh , Who aye where i, 1e Fish John tors tried prin with no result. else it may have been?” “9 “Get that sucker outa my ear,” Wes t Re 4 ec ts the female patient shouted and the thus inspired doctors fitted a suc- 4 3 M qd rtia n ae Et town of Bill Hayden tion device into her ear. was visited by an ecric omen the “Got him! There he was, plas- 2 s Sh r | n k montis Nyce! ated Gover tered to the suction tip like a fly to nor-General. The Brisbane sub- flypaper.” urb of Ipswich was deluged by a New England Journal of A respected psychiatrist investi- violent downpour of squirming Medifine gated in the Chelmsford ‘Deep sardines in February as residents Sleep’ Royal Commission be- ran for cover. A lieved he was a Martian, the Debra Degen was walking {i Xf Commission was told. from a neighbour's home when The late Dr HarryBailey,who —_ she was surrounded by scores of killed himself in 1985, believed flopping fish. Martians were a superior race “T thought my husband was ~ who were going to inherit the _ playing a joke but when I looked Orc ANIC LIGHTING Earth, sccomting to asister ofone around my front lawn they were. of Dr Bailey’s late patients. She everywhere, it was very frighten- Accidents at night have always saidDrBaileyhadtoldherbrother __ ing,” she said the next day. been aproblem. George Buckley, _ that there weretwodifferenttypes “T heard a noise which I a British pharmacist and Parish of people - Martians and others- thought was hail but after only chairperson, wants to make the andthat"YouandIare Martians. about 10 seconds I realised the streets safe at night by ensuring Your parents are definitely not _ hai! was in fact sardines.” pet food manufacturers inject Martians.” Dr Bailey allegedly Ipswich police verified the their products with bacteria so believed Martians knew the _ tale, saying several residents had that Nottingham shoes will stay meaning of life and had knowl- __ telephoned to say they had seen clean. edge while others did not. the sardines fall on the road and The bacteria - esherichia coli - Dr Bailey once told her that the Degen’s lawn. wouldreact with bacterialivingin ““You could walk around the brain “Tis certainly nota fishy tale. dogs which would give offaglow with hobnailed boots.” He said __Itreally did happen,” said a police! when excreted and streets would he’dratherabrainoperationthan spokesperson. shine with fluorescent warnings. _a liver operation and kept a glass A Brisbane weather official Mr Buckley says he receives _ jar on his desk and told her it was said frogs had previously been scores of complaints from irate the brain of a cnminal he had reported falling from the sky in residents with soiled shoes. treated. Western Australia. 56 NEXUS New Times Eight - Autumn 1989 The Twilite Zone exists In the fax machine of the wire-services of the world. Step through the door of your Imagination... | [HE T ” One That True Tails ne Arnerencs Kills Again Got Away An English surgeon has waited ad yeurty i le ig ly a How would you remove a eock- Tol stu die hor dec his hur Oxy AG al ch su the thi ck we do wi sh sei Tes True Tails Got Away Tokyo police announced in Janu- ary that they believed graduate student Tetsuo Sugahara, 24, had died accidentally. He was found dead near his home with his nose and mouth taped shut, so police naturally decided he had been a victim of his own curiosity about how the human body can function without An itchy eye helped Major Rich- ard Bingley recover a lost war souvenir. Major Bingley was shot in the thigh during the Korean War in 1952. Four bullets struck him but only three had exit holes. “I never had any trouble until acouple of months ago when! got a very bad irritation behind my eye,” said the 68-year old retired soldier in a London hospital last December. “The bullet must have some- how worked its way around my bloodstream until it lodged be- hind my eye. Who knows where else it may have been?” oxygen. Gate Licutie Martian Shrink Accidents at night have always been a problem. George Buckley, a British pharmacist and Parish chairperson, wants to make the streets safe at night by ensuring pet food manufacturers inject their products with bacteria so that Nottingham shoes will stay clean. The bacteria - esherichia coli - would react with bacteria living in dogs which would give off a glow when excreted and streets would shine with fluorescent warnings. Mr Buckley says he receives scores of complaints from irate residents with soiled shoes. eee