Nexus - 0103 - New Times Magazine-pages

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Ny yw HEE yy, My My sy, “ny, MOM ty ny Tian) tinny ainngy Wiens Mp = ‘tiny we “ OAS ss \\’ ny nttyo™ Unlock the door of your imagination and step into twisted reality. These stories are provided by ‘real’ news agencies, and most probably happened - but judge for yourself. The Birds 1 Beating the ae EN Famous Last mass rally to expose the > 4 a Taxman — of = ts evaders”, Words eadin: ngland, suffered and to propagate the tax regu- brain » oly and was criti | An ancient form of tax evasion aioe Li _ Nell Cassady, whose famous cally i! on a life support ma- | has been resurrected in China, “Fines are not enough. | adventures are chronicled in chine after being attacked by a | the country that Invented taxt- | cterner punishment Is neces- | Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, swan. The bird also attacked a | tion thousands of years ago. | sary for those who try to evade | Was counting the tles on a rail- rescue nurse and fireman. China Legal News reports @ | J sving taxes,” the China Legal | Way line in Mexico when he Closer to home, a man was | wave of violent alfacks om | A.’ c0i4 bieming the as- | Was run over by a traln. His last walking his pet chihuahua near | State tax collectors. saults on “lawless people ob- | words were “64,928”. Port Hacking in Sydney when a In Fujiuan Province over ® | socced with money”. Ken Kesey, who related the pelican swooped down and | hundred tax officers were story in the newly released lucked It from the ground. | beaten up In the last 12 months * . Demon Box believes doggedly The owner received oon a | while In Liaoning Province Prehistoric Rock in the values of LSD, although fright that he dr the lea there were 120 attacks be- he’s wary of drugs such as her- py pelican Toe ait be tween early last year and May. Eaters oin and cocaine. “It gives you only the dog’s lead visible this year. A Soviet academic has come | more compassion,” he sald in_ from Its beak. Similar cases have oc- | wy with a new theory to explain | Adelaide of LSD recently, curred in other provinces. In why prehistoric mammals died adding that the trouble with Fish Eats Dog Nanjing, in Jiangsu Province, out. Professor Vasili Bogatov Ronald Reagan was that he when a group of itinerant ped- told Soviet Weekly that mam- did’t use enough pot. A fisherman's dog was swal- lars was asked to pay taxes, mals like the mammoth, the lowed by a giant pike while they responded by gathering woolly rhino and the cave bear swimming across a river in together hundreds of people died out, not from lack of food, northern Siberia to join its and beating up the tax collec- but from lack of rocks, Profes- master. tors with clubs, sor Bogatoy belleves the soft- The fisherman cast his net a In Shanx! Province, a tax footed mammals ate stanes to few moments later and caught official who Inspected a get essential minerals. When the six-foot long fish, which restaurant’s books was later the ice sheets spread in the late had the dog's tail protruding beaten up In his office with Plelsocene era, the mammals from its jaws. When he cut the iron bars, bottles and bricks.by were unable to prise the stones fish open, the dog struggled the friends of the restaurant out of the frozen ground. They out, apparently no worse for owner. The official's assistant died from mineral deficiency, having been eaten. was stabbed. while their hard-hoofed com- panions - Ike deers and horses - managed to survive by dig- ging the stones out. The Birds 2 Allah’s Revenge A plumber from Umina on the Two giant porcupines roamed NSW central coast took a step a city street in Khoramabad in backwards when he saw a Western Iran, terrorising poul- kookaburra drop something. try and locals. from on high. But it was not The porcupines barged what he anticipated, but In fact into traffic, killing chickens an aggressive male funnel-web they speared on their 40cm spider landing half a metre In spines. Residents stoned them | front of him. He now has the to death. spider safely in a pickle jar. 38 Nexus New Times Three A 29. Readl brain cally | chine swan. rescue Clo walkin Port H Pelica, plucke The « fright and th only | from 1 F A fish lowed swimm northe master The) few mc the six had th from it fish op out, ap having re a MAH yy, \\ So Fs Ss ou et om Hy ot ANE yy, MOI cone Way Mr jnnniayy yw OM, Hranannant “nn ever nd EVAN The Birds 1 Beating the Famous Last Taxman Words Eaters The Birds 2 Fish Eats Dog