Nexus - 0102 - New Times Magazine-pages

Page 41 of 46

Page 41 of 46
Nexus - 0102 - New Times Magazine-pages

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WHICH CAME FIRST? Two men died in a heated argument about whether the chicken came before the egg last June in Manila, the Philip- pines. Two groups were hotly debating this philosophic conundrum when one of the men who said the chicken came first made an obscene gesture to his egg- first opponents, who produced pistols and started shooting. KOREAN PLANTS TEARGASSED South Korean environmentalists are worried that the tear-gassing of stu- dents by riot police on university cam- puses may be dangerous to plants and wildlife. Environmentalist Professor Won Byong-oh claims the gas is killing plants, insects and birds and may re- duce South Korean campuses to eco- logical wastelands. Crows STONE Moscow -Korea Herald Englishman Jack Cracker had been troubled with partial deafness since boyhood until he and his wife went ona tour to Sweden this year. When a sweet became lodged in his throat, his wife gave him a good thump on the back - and a rolled-up sixty-year- old twopence-ha’penny bus ticket from Buxton, Derbyshire, shot out of his ear. He now hears perfectly. South Korean environmentalists are worried that the tear-gassing of stu- dents by riot police on university cam- puses may be dangerous to plants and wildlife. Environmentalist Professor Won Byong-oh claims the gas is killing plants, insects and birds and may re- duce South Korean campuses to eco- logical wastelands. VY ncnn LW avntll Buildings in Moscow are facing an environmental hazard from the sky. Foot-high black crows (imported ten years ago from Siberia to contro! the city’s expanding population of pigeons) are dropping stones on the domes of many of Moscow’s most famous build- ings and have broken many glass roofs in the city centre. Buildings hit include the GUM Department Store, the Pushkin Museum and the Metropol Hotel. The crows have even bombarded the golden domes of the Kremlin, which were regilded seven years ago for the Moscow Olympics, and restoration experts fear that they will have to be gilded again. The birds use the sloping surface of the domes for gravity-as- sisted take-offs. Some pet owners have also com- plained to Pravda that their small dogs and kittens havebeen attacked and even carried off, by the birds. The birds got their training in stone- dropping over the ice lakes of Siberia, where they are accustomed to bombing the ice to get their water. Has the US finally perfected their artificial meteor research? Videos of a British song have been banned in the UK after it was acciden- tally discovered that they are designed to blow up TV sets. Kate Garner (of the now-defunct group Hayzi Fantayzee) has produced the video with band Deep Space. The video is titled Golden Explosion - the perfect gift “for people you hate”, ac- cording to Ms Gamer. British TV technicians noticed unusual interference when the clip was being prepared to go to air. “Experts were called in to look at it and they pronounced that screening the video could cause certain TV sets to produce a golden explosion - and that means the entire TV blows up,” said a television spokesperson. “Results could be disastrous, so the video won’t be screened,”A high fre- quency signal produced by the video is believed to short-circuit many TV monitors. Bird owners are eight times more prone to lung cancer than other people, according to a Dutch hospital research project. Dr Peter Holst, GP, claims his re- search shows that budgerigars are as bad for human lungs as cigarettes. He says that Belgium, Britain and the Neth- erlands have the world’s highest cancer rates and that pet birds are kept by 35% of Dutch people, who have the world’s highest incidence of lung cancer. - Reuter ae rey ptt eee “Oo come pet Owners nave also com- video could cause contain TV sets to project. plained to Pravda that their small dogs produce a golden explosion - and that Dr Peter Holst, GP, claims his re- and kittens have been attacked and even means the entire TV blows up,” said search shows that budgerigars are as carried off, by the birds. a television spokesperson. bad for human lungs as cigarettes. He The birds got their training in stone- “Results could be disastrous, so the says that Belgium, Britain and the Neth- dropping over the ice lakes of Siberia, video won’t be screened.”A high fre- _ erlands have the world’s highest cancer where they are accustomed to bombing quency signal produced by the videois _ rates and that pet birds are kept by 35% the i te to get their water. : believed 1o short-circuit many TV of Dutch people, who have the world’s “ a tee Lib Sanity petaenate monitors. highest incidence of lung cancer. artificial meteor research? 40 - Reuter Nexus New Times Two 40 | TWILITE ZONE (Continued) TICKET PLEASE KOREAN PLANTS TEARGASSED Crows STONE Moscow EAPLOOIWMG TUs ees, CARCINOGENIC CANARIES Nexus New Times Two