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I vaguely remember having something of great importance arranged with Gideon around that time that was to take place very soon. It was obviously my demanded invitation to his Masonic group but there was something more to the event than just invitation. It was to be an initiation, my initiation. The actual date that this ceremony was to take place I cannot recall but I certainly knew at the time, in fact I had the complete itinerary worked out to aT. I briefly remember meeting with Gideon one last time before this event and remember him being particularly fatherly to me checking that I was entirely happy with what I was about to do. I couldn’t have been more certain about anything and felt a glazy-eyed determination to embark. A certain code and itinerary had been worked out for me, which I would follow like clockwork. All I really remember after my last meeting with Gideon was that buzz, really looking forward to my invitation into his coven which I knew by no conscious instruction meant initiation. No plan that was devised for me was too difficult to take on nor would I question it. I had tunnel vision and doubt that anyone could have stopped me. What was more, I didn’t need to be given a date or appointment as I would simply know when the time came. When the inner hypnotist snapped his fingers or gave a recognisable code word, I would take off machine-like. It came as no notable surprise when the day actually came. It was one evening in January ‘96, a night appointment, something I might have known given that these episodes always seem to take place after dark. It came without apprehension or any of the concerned awareness that caused resistance. I knew what it was, where to go and what to do, and the only prominent emotion I remember having was excitement. It arrived with the familiar burning sensation in my head, only this time it wasn’t there because of a mental boundary. This was different; it felt like more of a signal to spur me on. Maybe it was a warning signal, a type of defence mechanism put there by the Programmers to remind me that I mustn’t have second thoughts. That consideration however could not have been further from the truth. Before I set off, there was something I had to take with me. The burning sensation was not going to let me leave the house without it. I immediately went to the small door of my boiler cupboard, a place where I often hid valuables in the event of a burglary. I reached down inside to feel my way along a dusty shelf and came across what I expected to find there, a small plastic carrier bag scrunched up into a dusty ridge in the wall. Slowly I pulled the bag out letting its weight drop to reveal the contents which seemed to be lead weights. I honestly had no idea what was inside, I was only aware of its importance. I do remember examining the contents which I 63