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but there is still so much to be said for the legitimate spiritual side of the journey. Many come back to report both accurate and identical experiences, some of being led somewhere by a mystical being. I was neither sick nor dying but I seriously believe that the pathos leading me was definitely trying to teach or convey something in the usual psycho-dramatic, alien way. I began to grasp parts of the lessons. The lessons had taken place towards the end of ‘91 yet I wasn’t allowed to remember them until today, 10 years later. Perhaps I reached the maturity to understand them better and maybe 10 years from now I will have the full picture. The recent revelations I believe taught me something about omnipotence and how to multi-exist. Maybe the first scene of the futuristic street with its multi-faceted business showed me how to exist in the future and provided glimpses of what it might hold such as floatadromes and the new ways of mining whereas the apparitions were an actual test on mastering the presence. I didn’t feel like a ghost and simply couldn’t do it so maybe that became shelved for another day? My other experiences of the civilised apes and the otherworldly Hindu garden were also hints of a much greater world somewhere that I will only be able to explore fully when I am truly capable. The new revelations were staggering especially as I thought I had just finished a book about the experience and I wasted no time at all in feverishly jotting down everything I could remember. Whereas I had previously completed a book left with a question mark, I found that recent developments had finally attempted to answer something. The absurdity of the phenomena, an aspect that had plagued me due to its disparity and embarrassment was suddenly starting to speak volumes. Maybe it wasn’t so absurd now that I could think of it in terms of psycho-drama and the significance behind its vague symbolism. The pathos tried to convey something perhaps because I desired it so much. It was a case now of going home and adding this essential afterthought to a mostly unsolved volume of secret memoir. I couldn’t help wondering whether the forces-that-be had deliberately spared this recent chunk of knowledge as something to consider for the rest of my life. So where was any of this supposed to leave me? I feel afraid to put this full stop on the saga in the event that even more buried memories suddenly show up and throw everything I have understood into disarray. Sometime that emergence will be inevitable but I hope the next phase will be much further down the line. There have been periods where nothing has happened for years and I am left feeling that all the information I have is the total recall but there would be no sense in that; it’s like telling somebody half a story. 138