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The Maze - Seventeen For months Ted covered up his situation and carried on with his psychic readings and study sessions, hoping that whatever was disturbing him would subside. Instead, how- ever, the mental and physical fatigue was relentless, dragging him under. The actual breakdown hit while he was at work. Ted had been on the verge of tears throughout the morning, without knowing why. All during the previous week, in fact, he could barely keep a grip on his self-control. His coworkers were a constant irritation on his fragile nerves, he was angry and impatient with customers, and everything crowded in upon him at once. At two p.m. on Wednesday, after hours of enduring this emotional turmoil, Ted quietly snapped. He stopped what he was doing, ignored the jangling of the phones in the back- ground, and tidied up the papers on his desk. He grew unnaturally calm and serene as he walked over to the secre- tary and said, “Call someone from the main office to come down here immediately. I’m sick, and I’m leaving now to go to my doctor, and I won’t be back today.” As if under some other control than his own, Ted turned and walked out in a daze, heedless of his job, his responsibil- ity as the only officer on duty at the branch bank, heedless of everything but the need to leave. He got into the car and drove to the doctor’s office. “T have to see the doctor,” he told the receptionist without any apparent emotion. “You don’t have an appointment?” she replied. “We'll have to work you in if time allows, or we can give you an appointment tomorrow, perhaps.” Ted’s calm demeanor did not change, but his voice took on an altogether different tone. “I have to see him now!” he said emphatically. “I’m not leaving until I do.” He sat down with a finality, and the receptionist hurried into the doctor’s private office. Shortly afterward, the doctor came out to the waiting room. He looked closely at Ted’s face, realized that his patient was in serious emotional trou- ble, and then gently led him by the arm back into the office. “Let’s go in here and talk for a minute,” he said, directing Masquerade of Angels 166 The Maze - Seventeen Ted to a chair. “What’s wrong, Ted? I’m very concerned, so tell me, what’s the problem?” Ted burst into tears, unable to answer. The doctor let him cry until the outpouring finally eased. But Ted still could not say anything. “What’s wrong?” the doctor asked again. ““You’ve been coming here to see me now about once a month for the past six months or so. You’ve had a number of problems, rashes, upset stomach, severe headaches. It all seems to be stress- related, Ted. We’ve done a thorough examination, and we haven’t found anything physically wrong with you. All the symptoms seem to be coming from some sort of stress.” “T don’t know what’s wrong,” Ted replied. “Maybe it’s the pressure I’m under at work.” But he really had no idea of what was at the heart of his constant tension. His job did involve a great deal of pressure, as there were many changes underway at the bank. He knew there was a dim prospect of some employees being laid off, so maybe that was the problem. Maybe his body was simply responding to the stress of the transitional situation and would eventually pass as things at work were resolved. Yet even being out of work for a while should not have threatened him so strongly. Financially he was in good shape, after all, and his skills were highly marketable if he had to find other employment. But there was nothing else in his life that he could pinpoint as a source of irritation. The doctor called in a psychiatrist from a nearby office for a consultation. When they were finished, the doctor returned and offered Ted some advice. “T think you’re at a crisis point, Ted, with all this stress,” he said. “Probably the best thing you can do for yourself is to let me send you up to Northside Hospital to the psych unit for evaluation. There’s a lot of good work going on in there. Check yourself in for a few days and let Dr. Nichols work with you. They can give you something to help you sleep, and maybe by this time next week you’ll feel strong enough to go back to work. I feel this would be your best course of action right now.” Unable to think clearly about any alternatives, Ted Masquerade of Angels 167