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bewilderment. He knew nothing about Margaret Mitchell’s life, and he certainly had never thought that she was pos- sessed of any secret source of inspiration. “So what is this trying to tell me?” he wondered. “Does it have anything to do with the Karly Kane story?” But that didn’t make sense. No other spirit could have produced that story through him, he thought, because Karly was so much like himself. Everything about his two night- time writing ventures was impossible to understand, and no other stories appeared after that. Like so many other events in his life, these had no clear meaning that he could discern. If the spirits were indeed behind the two tales, Ted decided they would have to be a whole lot clearer with their messages before he could grasp their intentions. The details of the Margaret Mitchell story continued to run through his mind, however. As he saw it, the story revealed how Margaret was used as a channel for the spirit world. At least that much of the tale had relevance to his own situation. And GONE WITH THE WIND had given the world great enjoyment. Was there a message here for him, after all? Did this tale imply that Ted, like Margaret, should allow the spirits to bring good things to humanity by cooperating with em? To satisfy his curiosity, Ted read GONE WITH THE WIND. And as he read, he began to make an association between Margaret’s psychic ability and his own. Through Margaret’s ability, he saw that she had created a literary mas- terpiece, surely a good and wonderful thing. Was the message that he, too, would offer some solace to the world through his talents? He did not really know, but it made him uncomfortable to get caught up in such egotistical thinking. He just didn’t feel worthy of such aspirations. Also, in reading the book Ted noticed a passage about Scarlett’s recurring dream. In it she was frightened of being lost in a fog. Ted thought of the mysterious fog that had brought him such fear. He wondered if it were Margaret her- self who had been afraid of the fog, rather than the fictitious Scarlett. Was Margaret relating a personal trauma? Again, Ted could not be certain, but something about this idea made Masquerade of Angels 164 him feel as if he were on to an important clue. One night, during the time he was reading the book, Ted had an experience in his sleep, hearing a voice. It told him that he should no longer worry about the fog. As with GONE WITH THE WIND, the voices assured him, something good would come from the experience. And the next morning when he remembered the voice, Ted thought he now under- stood the channeled message in the story he had written. He stopped dwelling on the fearful event with the fog and tried to resume his usual peace of mind and activities. The obses- sive anxiety seemed to have ended. He thought back to the terrifying encounter in his bed- room, of the fog, the light wand, and the jolt that made him feel as if he were going to die. That certainly had not been a pleasant experience for him, and neither had the visions of massive destruction which had plagued him, nor the loss of time and the resulting illness from his strange episode on the freeway. All of these things had taken their toll, mentally and physically, and had made Ted question his involvement with the spirit world. But the reassuring story of how GONE WITH THE WIND had come from channeled information acted as an antidote to his fears. Whatever price he might personally have to pay, he concluded that the benefits of giving himself to psychic work were worth the price. With renewed resolve, Ted plunged back into the spiritu- alist work. He tried to regain that sense of the positive and beautiful which had sustained him over the past years. Yet in spite of his dedicated efforts, he felt something changing, a slipping away of his strength. It surprised him that none of his associates noticed how he was losing speed and generally falling apart. By degrees, his nerves grew even worse, and the bouts of depression came more frequently. Weeks of losing sleep, of awakening several times a night in an agitated state, finally brought him to a desperate point where he needed help to get any rest. He began drinking at night, hoping that enough alcohol would knock him out by bedtime and allow him some sleep, or at least unconsciousness. It helped at first, but before long even the alcohol could not block out his continuous restlessness. Masquerade of Angels 165 The Maze - Seventeen The Maze - Seventeen