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or someone on the other side, perhaps, is directing what needs to come out and what doesn't. D: Yes, I think your subconscious will shut it off if it thinks you can't handle it. That's theway it works.Otherwise the memories wouldn't have been stirredup in thefirstplace P: There's a definite mechanism at work here that is directing what comes out, and when and how and why. Apparently it's time, and so here we are. We find ourselves doing exactly what we're sup- posed to be doing, I suppose. D: Butyet when you were around those beings you said you felt love for them P: Exactly. There's acontradiction there because when it's actually happening in the dreams or in the recall, it seems that it's not scary and it's not frightening. There is no feeling of dread. It's like the experiences go directly into the psyche or something. If I'm interpreting this right, if] understand this correctly, these feelings of dread are the conscious mind trying to deal with this. It's like the conscious mind is a little-notjust a little-but very immature. And then the conscious mind has to be subdued or something in order to experience that. It's such a powerful ex- perience during the visitation. I don't like the term "abduction." D: No,I don'teither. P: Soit's like the conscious mind is somehow squelched, and the experience is going directly into ... I don't know ifthe subcon- scious would be accurate or what level it is. : Memory bank orwhatever. I canunderstandthat. And then allofa suddenwhen theonscious sees it, itsays, 'Hey, something _ really happened here." And it begins to get frightened. That's one of the things right there. Didit happen? That's one of the feelings of losing grip, losing touch with reality, is that feel- ing of,did this really happen? 'Now, wait a minute-you're going crazy. You're making this up." That sounds like the conscious mind. This would be a feeling of, If these things happen, why couldn't I control it?" It couldn't handle it at the time, and now it's probably trying to push it back. I think it is the conscious mind trying to deal with something that'sfarbeyond its comprehension. This is so new on a con- scious level. I think that's why it's important to continue, because my conscious mind is learning from this and growing in self- stature and awareness. The important thing is not to let the con- scious mindjust rationalize it away, but to actually come to terms Losing Touch with Reality 253