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tendencies mightreturn. He had adjusted and coped admirably since that time ofdecision in the 1970s, butwhatwould happen if this newfound information threatened to overwhelm him? I didn'twant to convey these fears tohim. It would surely only add to the compli- cated emotions he was feeling. D: | don't want to hurt you in any way. P: No, I know you don't And like I say, if this was something that was insignificant, I would rather walk away from it. But Ican't. There's aresponsibility here, not only to myself, but there's a larger responsibility to somethingor someone else. I feel that I have to do this. It's something that I can'tclose off. I can'tfor- get about it. D. You know, after that first session you were disturbed. And I thought maybeyou wanted tojust drop it right the But afew days later, you said, "Well, I want to go on with it." I thought if it bothered you that much, we wouldn't have to explore it. The feelings are not something thatI can'thandle. It compli- cates my life, and itmakes it unpleasant for a while, but even so, it's important to me, for some reason, to get this out. It's not something that] relish doing, but it's something that Ifeel very strongly thatI have todo. I don'thave any clear vision ofwhy, or what's going to come ofit. So it's important to continue this. Okay. Because if it's bothering you, we can always drop it. We don't have todo it. Iunderstand that,and I appreciate that. ustwanted you to be aware. A couple of times 1 postponed calling you and setting up another session because I feltI had to walk away from it for aw hiln awhile. D: That's why I let you call the shots. I never want to push you into some- thing you don't want to do. But is thet any way you can push this to the back of your mind and pretend it's a dream so it doesn't botheryou ? P: No. It'simportant thatI do get this out. It's a blockage of sorts. There's this disturbance inside that needs to be vented and released. I guess that's why it's important, on a personal level, that I continue. some way. Exactly. I feel as though the conscious and subconscious are battling over this, and trying to adjust my perception of reality. Losing Touch with Reality 251 D: Maybe if you didn't release it, it would act on you subconsciously in