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304. * TAKING PAUSE During a pastoral counseling session with Gwendolyn, I let her know of the New Mexico research and some of my growing ambivalence toward it. I appreciated the opportunity to air my story to a monk who knew noth- ing about me, and to listen to her fresh perspective. I was surprised to hear Gwendolyn's voice on the phone a week later. "I was sick for three days after talking with you, it upset me so. I called the abbot, who as you know is near death. This is the first issue he's taken a personal interest in for over a year. He and I talked, as I did with other senior monks. We have decided you must stop your research imme- diately. I'll write you this week a more formal letter." I replied, "Let me think about it." Two weeks later, a letter came, not from Gwendolyn, but from Margaret. It began with, "I hope what I heard third-hand isn't true. But if it is, let me say this." With that introduction, she began an indictment of my research: past, present, and planned: "Your psychedelic research is ultimately futile, devoid of real benefit to humanity, and dangerous; "The idea of administering psychedelics to the terminally ill is to me appallingly dangerous. It comes about as close to ‘playing God' as any- thing I've seen in the mental health professions; "An attempt to induce enlightenment experiences by chemical means can never, will never, succeed. What it will do is badly confuse people and result in serious consequences for you." Gwendolyn's letter arrived next. "[Your research] constitutes wrong livelihood according to the Buddha's teachings; "That DMT might elicit enlightenment experiences is delusional and contrary to the teachings of the Buddha; "Hallucinogens disorder and confuse the mind, impede religious train- ing, and can be a cause of rebirth into realms of confusion and suffering; "This is the teaching and viewpoint of myself, [the abbot], [the order], and the whole of Buddhism. "We urge you to cease all such experiments."