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myself. IF So, So WHAT? * 271 any difference in terms of controlling the sessions. I learned the benefi- cial aspects of losing control." Sara, who made such complex contact with nonmaterial beings in the tolerance study, also participated in the pindolol study. On the last of those four sessions, we had a chance to look back upon her involvement in the research. "Things have broadened out. I have an awareness of worlds on the other side of this reality. I have the feeling of remembering those entities. My experience of them was so real it doesn't fade with time like other things do. They want us to come back and teach us and play with us. I want to go back and learn. I wish you didn't control who gets DMT!" Before Rex underwent his overwhelming 0.2 plus pindolol session de- scribed in chapter 14, "Contact Through the Veil 2," he received a lower dose of DMT with pindolol. As that session wrapped up, I asked him how he had been feeling about his participation. "I've had more creative urges," he answered, "and I've been writing more. As chaotic as they are, the DMT sessions have helped me be more centered. Having gone through it gives me more ofa sense of strength in "I have written some poems of the Other. Many were written before, but some after getting started in the study. DMT made me face aspects of my unconscious that I didn't know were there, like my fear of dying." We read about Ken's terrifying encounter with sexually violent crocodiles. A few months after that, I called him to see how things were. He sounded surprisingly philosophical: "It's really changed my feelings about death. I'm not nearly as afraid to die as I was before. It has also really changed my view of life—about how things are basically not as they seem. There is a certain falling away of expectations. "T'm also less afraid of my own insanity. There's this Jewish guilt to fit in and be normal but I feel less inclined to be that way now. I'm not as