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256 * THE SESSIONS of the ward nurses asked if everything was all right. They were alarmed by the screams coming out of Room 531. "She got off to a rough start, but she's fine now." Andrea looked pretty good at the 30-minute point, and she filled out her rating scale. Within an hour she was eating breakfast. How amazing the speed with which DMT hurls us through the abyss and then returns us! When we spoke by phone a day later, she said, "Things I want to do with my life before I die are more clearly defined now. I'm not ready to go yet. We had originally moved to New Mexico so I could go to college, par- ticularly in bodywork. I got discouraged and never followed through. My life is finite, though, and if I am to go to school, this is the time to do it." Andrea returned for the tolerance project the next month. Before getting started, I steered her toward her fear. "Are you afraid of being unconscious? If so, it's all right to black out. You can just pass out. Go for it. You can lose your mind, you will get it back, it'll be all right. Four doses of DMT will wear you down today. Hope- fully, you'll just give up without too much pain and fear." "I'm just worried about where I will go. Will I be all right?" She let out a brief muffled cry as the first 0.3 mg/kg dose went in. However, anticipating this, her husband, Laura, and I quickly responded by placing our hands on her arms and legs. She calmed quickly, and throughout the morning she worked on developing the theme that had emerged on her first high dose: a fear of death related to the fear of how to live her life fully. As was the case with so many of our tolerance study volunteers, An- drea broke through into an ecstatic resolution ofher anxiety and confusion during her fourth session. Eighteen minutes into this session, she said, That was a real gift, this last one. I was in such angst and pain for the first doses, especially the third one, and I thought, "Oh God, am I going to do this again in this last dose?" and I thought, "Yes, Flldo it again." just never gave up. And then it was easy. There was literally aflood of beings saying, "Okay, remember when you were young and idealistic and wanted to learn how to do bodywork?"