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Okay. PAIN AND FEAR « 255 She then bellowed, NO! NO! NO! For the next minute, she cried, No! No! No! Andrea's legs kicked and flailed. Her husband rested his hand on her leg, gently patting and massaging her. I placed my hand on her other foot. At 2 minutes she was sighing, no longer screaming, and seemed to be settling down a little. I said, "You're doing fine. Just breathe." She replied softly, I noticed tears forming under her eyeshades at about 4 minutes. "You can cry." She began sobbing, continued for about five minutes, and then started relaxing a little. Did I scream? "A couple of times." / thought so. It was hard to let go. "There's a lot of feelings in there." She laughed quietly, I volunteeredfor this, right? "Yes, I have your informed consent at home." / never really left my body. Ifought it all the way. I thought I was going to die. I didn't want to die. Iwas afraid. I realized that I had a body for a reason and that I have work to do in this body. Andrea now turned her fear into a challenge, rather than a defeat. When I was coming down, I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to do this again, but now I think Ido. I don't think it will be as scary next time. It was death. I saw myselfin that void, the void. It was just black, just too much. I've never had anything like that happen before. On LSD and mushrooms you can build up to things and you are still in your body and you can move in and out ofit. With this you have no choice. I wasjust totally unprepared and startled and scared. When I returned to the front desk to work on Andrea's chart, several