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FEELING AND THINKING «+ 161 At 10 minutes after his fourth and last injection, Stan blew through his pursed lips, then said, It's a much nicer ride this time. It's like three waves you catch bodysurjing. They knock you down getting readyfor thefourth, which is great. I want to do it again! We all laughed, relieved he was feeling better. In this man who kept so much to himself, his earlier admission of anxiety must have indicated intensely powerful feelings. He spent the next several minutes lying quietly, relaxing and basking in his newly found inner peace. Stan seemed refreshed and in good spirits after the fourth dose. He ate lunch and left quickly after finishing. Stan and I talked by phone a couple days later. He said, "I'm feeling fine. I felt some mild euphoria yesterday and today, probably related to the experience. I wasn't sure about continuing with all four doses. Something finally clicked and got resolved. Maybe it was surrendering. It really put me through some changes. The first one was mixed emotions. The second and third ones were overwhelming. Just a lot of unresolved anxiety. The fourth one really did it." I asked, "Was there any content to your sessions?" "Very little. It's like a roto-rooter for your nervous system. It clears some things free. It was purely energetic. There are cumulative effects. Something happened, something changed between the third and fourth doses. After the third, Ijust gave up." Stan kept his feelings at bay. Like many of our volunteers, he enjoyed psychedelics because of their emotional intensity. He could feel something on high doses of LSD—perhaps not pleasant or enjoyable feelings, but at least more than nothing. Any time we find ourselves stuck in life, it usually is because we can't connect with the feelings that come with that situation. While in Stan's case there certainly seemed to be a "roto-rooter" gradually wearing down his psychological resistance, there was a conscious process- ing that helped, too. He was anxious and uncertain. Although he "knew"