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him. anxiety and my sinuses. Part ofmy anxiety relates to my daughters school next year. She’s in fifth grade. I need to decide this morning. She’s having a FEELING AND THINKING + 159 battle was developing, and their eight-year-old daughter was living with I wondered if the DMT sessions might provide him with some emo- tional clarity for these trying times. While the goals of the research remained unchanged, Stan was a fellow human being undergoing a major loss, and if we could help him within the project's context, all the better. As it turned out, his first "double-blind" day was active drug—four consecutive high-dose DMT injections. The first two doses helped him clarify the stress under which he'd been laboring. Mmm. There were the usual colors. I guess I'll do the next several doses, in spite ofthe anxiety. Gently teasing him, appealing to his "psychedelic machismo," but also encouraging him to go a little deeper, I said, "I didn't think you'd have it any other way." He lay quietly with his eyeshades on. / like the eyeshades. "They've turned out to be quite helpful.... Did you have any thoughts or feelings?" Thad some anxiety, more or less. Idon't remember thatfrom before. I offered this suggestion: "There's a lot more going on in your life now. I wonder if the anxiety is related to the uncertainty and loss of control in your life right now. This is a drug that causes loss of control. That might be uncomfortable." At 5 minutes after the third injection: There is a very slight nausea. I've noticed that nausea in an altered state of consciousness often is a way for the body to distract us from anxiety and sadness. During medita- tion or hypnosis, or on psychedelic drugs or even marijuana, it's somehow easier to feel sick than sad. I'm not going to throw up. Don't worry. Maybe it's the combination of hard time with the divorce, especially having difficulties with her mom. It's hard on me but it's harder on my daughter.