Chasing Phantoms - Carissa Conti-pages

Page 189 of 241

Page 189 of 241
Chasing Phantoms - Carissa Conti-pages

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179 world that was completely removed from her normal every day core self who went to work, earned money, paid her bills, watched TV, hung with her husband, cleaned her house, etc. I’m not saying that’s what my own alter was created for, but it was very aggressive, and felt male in nature. I’ve pendulum dowsed it and got each time that this personality emergence was a compartmentalized alter popping out, not spiritual amnesia lifting. In fact, the whole, “Who I Am” thing wouldn’t even be an accurate description to describe the mindset, it was more like another side of me emerging that’s normally dormant. So while I’ve never been like Joe or Steve, and have never flipped and done 180s as quickly (and scarily) as my mom could and did, and I don’t have “two me’s” and experience black out periods like my dad does (which I get into in the Appendix does (which does (which I get into in the Appendix http://www.in2worlds.net/abductions) unfortunately as the years have gone on I’ve noticed what I consider to be persona instability. And I don’t like it. I feel like there are multiple sides of me, who have multiple conflicting views and attitudes and end up contradicting each other. I can feel myself shifting around — but is it just normal mood shifting? I don’t know. If I’m conscious of it, it means it’s not a split off persona. There’s never a complete amnesiac break. Even with the above mentioned incident at work in 2002 I still knew who and where I into in was. But I’ve never adopted an alternate name for myself the way programmed multiples often will, and in fact I’m adamantly against that. I’m Carissa. Period. I won’t even tolerate a nickname, even when people have tried to give me one. And I’ve never experienced black out periods, nor have I ever been confronted with a conversation or situation where I was apparently there, but yet, have no memory of it. Thankfully! That to me is where the line is drawn. Up until that point there’s a suspicious issue occurring, but it’s not serious. When you cross over into black out periods and alternate names, then you're in trouble! My own situation is apart from my family, because I’ve never carried on the way they have, taking things to that extent. I think a person’s frequency determines how unstable they'll behave. Both of my parents had very low frequencies, as did my brother - either emotionally volatile, and/or extremely depressed and angry - so their issues were QUITE noticeable; on the other hand, Steve always tried to be as emotionally neutral, stable and balanced as possible, (Libra sun/moon, go figure ;) ) so quite fittingly, his problems went relatively unnoticed. Part III - Expanded Insights —_—_—_—_—— ee *e