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120 My calm, rational source of reason counteracting this urge reminded me of the couple of memories I do have, with the leftover marks on my body to prove it to myself, and some of the more undeniable incidents. If I have those couple of incidents then it means I can’t turn and walk away. There’s a story here. So eventually I snapped out of it. And so here we are. That whole reaction is kind of understandable though, because when one is dealing with this subject in their own life, the biggest The lack of overt evidence (often times) as mentioned previously. Unless you go under hypnosis, which I’m not willing to do at the moment, then you’re pretty much screwed in terms of finding out the full story of who’s doing what, when, why, and how. There are just so many plot holes, things that don’t make sense. The clash between abduction happenings and the “real world.” When you have this stuff going on in your life it creates a conflicting split. You can’t just go and talk about it to any old person. So there usually is nowhere to go, except for the internet and books. You’re left on your own, trying to reconcile where the evidence is pointing to in your personal life, with the clash of the mainstream world that often times denies that this stuff is real. The clash with the “real” world just can’t be emphasized enough. The “real” world occupies 90-95% of our waking lives, reinforcing its particular version of “truth” and “reality” to us over and over. This other 5-10% involving abductions and paranormal is also very real, and equally as valid for those going through it, but there’s no place for it in the 90-95% world. I’ve been at the drug store, surrounded by regular people and hustle and bustle of the every day “real” world...buying Red Bulls or Frapuccinos so my boyfriend and I can stay up all night avoiding abductions, or buying film to photograph the anomalous bruises, small purple circles and even geometric marks that have periodically appeared on my body. Standing in line to pay, holding the film, or the Red Bull in my hand while my eyes would fall on celebrity/fashion mags, or the local and national newspapers for sale near the register, with mainstream “news” headlines screaming from the covers. Clash of two worlds. Which one is more real? Not Chasing Phantoms i problems are: